Uncensored Heart

In going with the Inner Battles story, I have decided to pull some verses from the Bible. I know it will only apply to those that obviously read it and understand, but I figured on pulling a few pieces to not justify my battle, but rather understand where the perspective comes from or rather is built into us as humans. 13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. Proverbs 11:13 28 Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf. Proverbs 11:28 26 He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. Proverbs 28:26 22 Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he? Isaiah 2:22

White washed temples with rotted bones on the inside is a term I never thought I would use to describe humanity at this stage and yet I am forced by daily experiences to do just that. We come across a variety of people in our lives that cross our path for one reason or another. Some remain passing acquaintances while others hold the power to affect our lives in profound ways. They are all learning experiences in one way or another. Unfortunately, the world has become so materialistic in its most simple everyday lives that people no longer maintain “humanity” as their belief or goal. It is truly sad and enraging depending on the circumstances. My own personal experience affected me profoundly and on so many levels, I’ve lost sight of myself. I developed a friendship which turned into more with time. While I take accountability in allowing it to go there myself, I am not the sole blame for the ending. This was a person I had a lot of respect for and I thought I knew him for who he...

Adversity seems to be the theme of one’s life. It seems at times that no matter how hard one tries or strives to achieve at least middle ground it is torn to shreds. You talk yourself through hard times and sacrifice to make it work so that those around you will never have to see the true pain and torment that one goes through. After all, we cannot open ourselves up to who we really are for fear that people will either not understand or judge us prematurely. I woke up this morning in a rather odd mood. While I am not sad or depressed, reality hits me to the core. The one part I can’t understand and I doubt I ever could is how can a reasonably intelligent person end up in predicaments of the heart that threaten to shred every last bit of who you are. So, I lay here and ponder the existence and paths of everyday people and wonder how one ever knows their destined path. Do we go through and kind of feel our way through? Do we shoot for the stars blindly and hope we aren’t martyrs for...

"As a handful of sand thrown into the ocean, so are the sins of all flesh as compared with the mind of God." "Just as a strongly flowing fountain is not blocked up by a handful of earth, so the compassion of the Creator is not overcome by the wickedness of his creatures." "Someone who bears a grudge while he prays is like a person who sows in the sea and expects to reap a harvest." —St. Isaac The Syrian "He who busies himself with the sins of others, or judges his brother on suspicion, has not yet even begun to repent or to examine himself so as to discover his own sins..." —St. Maximos the Confessor (Third Century on Love no. 55) "Fire and water do not mix, neither can you mix judgment of others with the desire to repent. If a man commits a sin before you at the very moment of his death, pass no judgment, because the judgment of God is hidden from men. It has happened that men have sinned greatly in the open but have don...

A heart divided is always something very difficult to handle and deal with. How does one move on when they can’t decide which path to take? You stand at the fork in the road. One path has your heart as it is and it has been the one road you have been on. It is what’s comfortable to you; however, it also has been never ending. No resolution has ever come forth. It is the path of blind faith, the road that harbors confusion and mistrust. However, it is also the road that you have been on. So, what is the problem you ask? The other path that has newly appeared is a clearer picture, no fog, no mist and you can see the road ahead.   So, which path does one chose in this case? This is the typical question most people find themselves struggling with. It happens every day and everywhere that one looks. There is always a part of us that wants the guaranteed easy road, no drama or issues. But then one must wonder if the hardest road reaps the greater reward. Some decisions are easier th...

"Man is more himself, man is more manlike, when Joy is the fundamental thing in him, and Grief the superficial. Melancholy should be an innocent interlude, a tender and fugitive state of mind; Praise should be the permanent pulsation of the soul. Pessimism is at best an emotional half-holiday; Joy is the uproarious labor by which all things live." Habits of Belief, Essential Writings; Orbis Books pgs. 139-140

The fruit of the spirit comes in many forms and in many ways. It is a composite meaning the lifestyle as a whole. Another words, we cannot chose which we want to exhibit and which ones we do not. It is our life and what we do with it. It is our character and the type of person that we are. It is an unbroken whole, we cannot pick only the fruits that we like or distribute them to only people we like. Another words, we must accept it as a whole and then distribute it as a whole. It is an all or nothing choice here. It also is an ideal that seems so difficult for most people to accomplish, myself included. It is an easy thing when the people you deal with are one’s that you like. The real test comes when you are faced with those that you do not like or even worse cannot stand. Yes, I feel you as I am guilty of the same thing. My thoughts and feelings are not always docile towards some people. The one most inspiring concept to me, besides love has always been faithfulness.   In Gre...

"Apart from love nothing whatever has existed, nor ever will. Its names and actions are many. More numerous still are its distinctive marks; divine and innumerable are its properties. Yet it is one in nature, wholly beyond utterance whether on the part of angels or men or any other creatures, even such as are unknown to us. Reason cannot comprehend it; its glory is inaccessible, its counsels unsearchable. It is eternal because it is beyond time, invisible because thought cannot comprehend it, though it may perceive it. Many are the beauties of this holy Sion not made with hands! He who has begun to see it no longer delights in sensible objects; he ceases to be attached to the glory of this world." —St. Symeon the New Theologian