Spirit or love


I learned a few things about myself these past few days. Some of the revelations were good, while others disheartening. I listened to my priest talk about love. Love for humankind, the spiritual kind that goes hand in hand with forgiveness. I learned, as I sat there getting lost in the environment and in his words feeling like I was home, completely and totally home. I have not been able to say that anywhere else of at any other place. That is scary since as the old adage goes “home is where the heart is” then where is my heart? Have I lost it or buried it in such a profound way, I don’t recognize it?

Then as I drive to work this morning, I realize something else…..Im watching the sun come up on the horizon with the clouds floating ever so gently and yet looking as ferocious mountains ready to collapse on the world. The gentle sprinkle of rain on the windshield or the sway of the wind in the wheat grass. It all comes together in one magnificent morning. But when you break it all up the minor things, like the way the wind blows in any direction it chooses are things we take for granted. We miss the smaller things in life. It would be amazing to have the ability to be like the wind and move however, whenever and where ever you want. True and utter freedom and it is still a fruit of the divine.

What does one do when one is torn between their spirit and their human heart? That is the question that plagues me now. Is it a question of faith or fear? One’s spiritual side when in true communion is forgiving and loving of people as a whole. There is no delineation and there are no conditions. It comes with acceptance and peace. It is the one place when peace reigns throughout your entire self. Again on the old adage of “tis better to give than to receive” goes hand in hand. If you put conditions on the people you come in contact with, are you really giving of yourself?

The soul, the love that encompasses us in a romantic way or friendship, family etc….that is completely different and as far from perfect as possible. We pass expectations onto others and when they don’t meet those set standards we set we fight, hatred, envy, and disgust engulfs us. The love that makes a pretense of being forever is nothing but a cold shell. Its rotted bones all wrapped up in a pretty package. Love is greedy and pretentious.  It comes with pain and sorrow. It is our choice to accept it and risk or love them in spirit and not risk your heart. The end result could be amazingly magical experience where you find the love of your life or never knowing and being able to move on in acceptance and peace. It is a choice we are all faced with at one time or another…to open your eyes and not take anything for granted like the whispers of the wind and live in complete and perfect love or take the bulls by the horns and live life. What do we want as individuals and what road are we willing to go down on? 

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