Relationships

“Everlasting God, those who were divided You brought into oneness, setting for them an unbreakable bond of love; Bless these Your servants, guiding them into every good work.”

This is such a simple phrase and yet we have problems living up to it. Love is a mere word for the human race today. An expression filled through Hallmark, chocolate and empty promises. Am I wrong? How many people can honestly say they are in love or they do love someone so much that hurting them sends a pain directly through your own heart? I know the answer. It is as most human promises…conditional. I love you if you love me, if you do right by me, etc etc. We never hear someone simply say I love you for you, regardless of how you are as a person. 

As I have stated before, I am standing on the threshold of marriage and I ask myself these very questions and I pray for understanding and strength that I may be better than myself and a source of strength for not just the one I love, but those close to me as well. A relationship is very similar to a flower garden. For those of you that are like me in that I follow directions and do as I am told when I try planting and yet I can never seem to make anything grow…..just humor me in this analogy. It seems so basic that it is almost trivial….you get soil, pot (or ground)….pick the seeds, dig, put in seeds, cover, water….and repeat as needed. It seems as though it were a dating game. The same game we all play. You plant one seed, it doesn’t grow so you move down to the next one. Well, lets look at the whole garden as our newfound love relationship. You know, the stage where you still get butterflies in your stomach and you giggle like a school kid at the mere thought of your significant other. Well that is the newly planted soil with seeds. While I am not a gardener, I know full well that in order for anything to bloom year after year…the flower bed must be taken care of….grooming, watering, feeding, etc. What makes us think that relationships are any different? 

Unfortunately, too many of us want the road to happiness and peace to be paved, free of bumps and turns. Then regrets, resentment and anger fill us and we break up. It boggles the mind that we have come so far as a race…the human race…that we forget the little things, the simplest things. We set ourselves and those in our lives up for failure because we expect them to live up to our perceived expectations…those ones that are so high only the Almighty could fulfill and yet we are angered that our husband or wife doesn’t meet those same standards. The theory that my husband is the bread winner and it is all about him to make sure everything is paid and I have all the luxury in the world. If he gets sick or loses his job more likely than not she will not pick up the pieces and try to make it work. She would rather run to the next healthy, high earning potential male. As tough as we assume we are, why is it that we must hold onto another branch and wait until it harvests fruit before we let go of the older one that doesn’t meet the expectations we assume and hold them to? Why can we not be single and face ourselves, become one with ourselves and then when we are whole…move on into a healthy relationship? The answer is fear and laziness. We as a society refuse to work for what we want. We would rather someone else do it and we either take credit or simply enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor. 

So given these traits how can we not expect such a high divorce rate? I would be shocked if it wasn’t. We no longer marry for love. We marry for what the other person can do for us. Well, what happens when they no longer can’t? Are they trash that we simply dispose of and move to the next unsuspecting bastard? Yup. We sure do. Because it’s easier than facing ourselves in the mirror and admitting how vile we truly are as humans engrossed in sin. 

I have been thinking about this for a while now…..the whole am I marrying for the right reasons? Do I have what it takes to give it my all to this man? I can honestly say yes. No matter what…the answer is yes. So, I trust in God that my soul knows what is good and right. After all, years after our first meeting, my soul stirred when I saw him and then when our fingertips touched…it was a bolt of electricity that shot down my back. I knew, somewhere deep down I knew this was the one. After years of tests and trials he is still my one. Let me say this again…years of trials and hardships on both ends and he is still the one. 

Think about your relationships carefully now and in the future because what you want isn’t always what you need. Be fair to your heart and release theirs if they are not the person you want for an eternity.