Family....Friend....or Foe... cont'd

“A lion never loses sleep over the opinions of sheep.”

After the events of that past holiday, I forgot the issues with my mother and how she saw me. In August I started the treatment, however, it is so very slow and takes time to build in your system etc. Therefore, it is not an overnight sensational fix it all but it is working. August is also when I went down to visit my mother. She lives in close proximity to a cousin of hers and his family. My mother being a social butterfly constantly needs attention, therefore, she thrives in that type of environment.

So, here we are. I am tired from the drive and still recovering, my feet are swollen like pillows and are achy…as you can imagine I wasn’t looking my best. Her cousin calls up wanting to know if we wanted to go to a buffet style meal and catch up, etc. I instantly got a ill sense, a sense of dread, but decided to go anyways. This is where my brain should have been shot and put out of its misery for going. Sigh…stupid is as stupid does and I never listen to my gut. Nonetheless, I went along. So we always meet at their house before we all head out. Once at their house, my mother had mentioned to his wife who is a weird dummy to begin with and all about holistic bull crap, that my feet hurt and I just started meds etc. Her initial response….well you are big and that can cause feet issues. Really? So now you are an MD? But instead it took everything I had to not breakdown and cry from frustration to anger to everything in between. Her husband comes out and basically makes a similar comment. I wanted to high tail it home at that point and never look back.

We get to the restaurant and we all sit down. Being an all you can eat buffet we took turns going up and the kids were allowed to go first. Well…let the fun begin once they left. My mother’s family laid it on. First her cousin makes comments that I don’t even look like I am related to my mother because I am so big and she is so small. That I don’t fit in the family since I am wow….he cant believe it. His wife sits there and nods while my mother laughs like this crap is funny. It took everything I had to not run out of there in humiliation. Every time they opened their mouth I felt myself get smaller and smaller. Then he started questioning me as to why I don’t exercise. I explained about my feet and he said that I could exercise in other ways such as my arms and such. Basically, the message I received was I am to fat of a porker and obviously to lazy. My mother continued to laugh and make light of the situation in her fucked up ways. God, I despised that woman.

Finally, she went up with her cousin’s wife and I continued to be battered. I have never in my life been so humiliated as I was then and there. It took everything I had to bite back tears of anger and mortification. Then when it was our turn….I only got 1 slice of pizza. I had lost all hope and hunger. I was mortified and wanted to run out like a crazy woman. I used the excuse my feet hurt and lost appetite. Mind you they all had 3 plate fulls while I babied my one slice of pizza in humiliation fighting back tears. I also didn’t speak much more.

Lesson here is stfu if you cannot be helpful. Making fun of someone over their looks or weight will get you nothing but hate. You have no idea how much it destroys a person. It also makes you a bully. Period.

I say all this and share my story because it is an issue in today’s society. And going back to my original theory….reverse psychology does not and will never work in this realm. I am still not over that encounter, however, I want you all to know that my mother’s cousin was twice my size and lost weight when he was diagnosed diabetic. His wife is bigger than me. She gained weight with age. Therefore, they have no right to destroy someone else. All in all, I am not sure which pain and humiliation was worse….their words or my own mother’s laughs.