Heart or Wallet

“As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.”

There are 2 kinds of wisdom…..worldly and heavenly. The former promotes envy, greed, pride, and so forth, whereas the latter, peace, love, mercy, and compassion. “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures”.

Pleasures….something we are all guilty of wanting. The greedy want/desire breaks us down and ruins our relationships. Unfortunately, most of us are blind to it, because we walk in selfishness. Yes, I know some of you are saying “not me”…..guess what…”yes, you”. I know we may have pure intents at the start, but then somehow through the process of our massively acquired worldly knowledge it is tainted and within moments from its inspiration it turns into something far more ugly than the devil could ever create. Sadly, the devil himself has little work to turn humans. There are a lot of humans but very little humanity. We are our own worst enemies and devils cohorts. I have seen this displayed lately so much more than I wanted to ever. It has left me broken hearted in some ways and in others, walking with eyes much wider opened.

Take the person that is willing to beg and grovel for money to make their celebration exactly what they want it to be. So, is it more important to make it pretty or is the reasoning for the celebration and the impact on the heart more important? I guess the materialistic side wins out. I know self proclaimed Christians who would rather ask for donations to fund their own wedding than humbly stand before God and ask for the sacrament and its blessing.

What about those that put a price tag on love? They claim their hearts desire is the one very special to them. However, they ask the impossible from that person. Why? To ensure they are on the right footing and comfortable with their lot in life….material things. Should one wait around for an indefinite time for a person who places their worth in dollar signs? Think about it…how much are you worth or how much is the love of your heart worth? I can’t answer a question that to the depths of my soul has no answer. To me, it doesn’t matter what the person can give me..its what they mean to me.

Is it wrong then, to make the choice to let love go? Pull away and lick your wounds and pray for the miracle patch that never comes…but comfort with time always does. I never knew how I would react to seeing how much I was worth until I was placed in that position. Let me tell you, the damage is far greater than any major wonderful that can come of it. When your heart breaks and trust no longer exists no amount of “Im sorry” or “I didn’t mean that” can take back the scars left on your heart and soul. Our mouth does the greatest damage possible. It is greater than any weapon out there. We are so busy to speak that we don’t realize the damage we leave behind. It’s a famous country song…”The road you leave behind”…which really gets to the heart of it. What you do will come back to haunt you. The hurt you put others through, you will feel at some point in your own life. Sadly enough, when we do unto others its always about us, when its done to us the whole world hears about our pain. It reminds me of the homeless man I saw on the corner. It was a very busy day and lots of people were walking passed him. Like most homeless people we are use to seeing, we generally walk right passed, feign ignorance and ignore. Some will at least put change in a cup. This man, he was very different. He didn’t grip about his sorrow, instead he was on his knees in prayer. Albeit I was one of the only ones who noticed this difference but I did.

The man is homeless and is silently humble in prayer. We, who have food, a roof and other trinkets of life are busy complaining and bitching about all the extra crap we don’t have. Yeah…that’s right. You find love, one so true it tugs at your heart daily and that’s not enough. Why? Because loving the person isn’t enough, we have to be able to give the person the world on our terms. When the person asks for nothing but love in return and you give them everything but that one desire, why then do we get depressed that the person walks away? I have been lucky enough to see both sides, yet only experience one.

I don’t know about most people, but I would rather the man that is homeless love me for me. In truth and love, when it is true struggles are shared and become less burdensome, while the joy is doubled. I don’t want a man that wants to give me the world…I want the one that is courageous enough to give me his heart.