Words and Actions

I read somewhere that your best teacher is your last mistake. I wonder if generally that’s true and if so, what if your last mistake taught you to not trust? Are we then selling ourselves short by not taking a chance at love or whatever endeavor it is we wish to pursue?  I am a bad example of this as I am stuck in my ways and beliefs. Partly it may be due to what some call a self protection mechanism, but partly it is also the fact that my intuition, my gut has never let me down. So, when my gut and brain are throwing up red flags, I follow their lead. Am I right? Maybe not in every aspect, but I do find comfort and peace behind my wall of strength. I have also read that a wall will shake, but never crumble. After my last mistake, I have built it back up to withstand the greatest of forces against it.

When you care for someone more than they deserve, you always end up getting hurt, much more than you deserve. It’s a gamble every time. So is it selling yourself short if you chose to not play the game? I don’t think so. I think life is full of opportunities and people that can help guide those decisions. Now, while the opportunity is there, it does not mean it is always a positive experience. We learn from the good and the bad. Lessons can be as painful as they are positive and good. Choosing to not risk the possible pain does not sell one short.

It becomes increasingly difficult to trust when ones actions do not match ones words. I can’t speak for the rest of the world, but when I say something my actions follow suit. When people are wishy washy over decisions it typically is indicative they aren’t ready to move on with their choices. I understand fear and apprehension better than most, however, when you are indecisive to where actions do not match words, think about those around you that you affect. I was speaking with someone who told me that the indecisions of her partner left her mistrusting and heartbroken. It caused them both more pain than if it had been a cheating issue. At least that would be cut and dry, albeit no less painful.

There are people that are more emotionally charged than others and their decisions are made from the heart. I am not one of those people. I make my decisions based on rational and factual data. My heart never ever agrees with those decisions, but nonetheless brain knows best in my case. It is logical and requires data that is visible and evident. Regardless of the reasoning behind the actions, I have been told that actions speak louder than words, so when actions scream something different than what the mouth says I chose to listen.

I am not saying I am always right or my choices are always right, but they are right for me. I have yet in my lifetime to have my gut/brain only decisions come back to haunt me. The same cant be said for the choices I made from the heart, which have been very few and far between. I will admit I feel guilt over making promises from the heart, while my brain knows better. How do I reconcile the distinct differences in my choices then? I cant answer that. As this is the first time in my life that I am forced to make a decision and my promise was heartfelt, my decision is the opposite.

I am a strong advocate of say what you mean, how you feel and then show it in your actions. When the 3 aspects do not match up at all…..there is a lie, a fear or indecision somewhere. So are you fair to the other person asking them to wait or believe something that doesn’t match the rest? Im not sure, it’s a call of the wretched organ known as the heart and that’s never simple. Are you the bad guy for choosing to not deal with it and rather pull away for the sanctity of your own heart? Moving away doesn’t mean walking away…it simply means regrouping and preparing for the storm.

So, in short tread carefully on what you say and do. Make sure your actions meet your words if one is to be credible and not come across as indecisive and most importantly guard your heart and if you love someone else truly….guard theirs. Be willing to walk away and let it go rather than drag them through your own issues. Nothing, I repeat nothing is more painful than sitting on the sidelines watching life happen and knowing you have no say. The only say you get is whether you are going to sit and watch the rest of the game or leave the park.