Puppy Love

What happens when relationships come down to love. The simplest of all concepts. No work around or bullshit, just a self-examine of do I truly love this person and am I willing to go to the ends of the earth for them? I am a strong believer that we should all really look at those very basics when determining if a relationship is right or wrong for us. This should be a relatively easy concept to get, however, it is much easier said than done because we are humans and therefore complicate every little thing we experience until that very basic thing becomes so convoluted we lose sight of what we were doing in the first place.   

I can very easily pull lots of different examples of this concept from my own experience. In the beginning, as I have stated previously, I was very biased to my husband because of my own issues. I just put things on him that really didn’t belong there. I was using my preconceived notions and fears to dictate the end result. I was my own psychic. Until he finally said he wanted to marry within a month and screw everything else. Panic storm raged. After all, playing house and not having any responsibilities as a husband was very easy, I could walk away at any point. But marriage? Hold on now…that is a lot more than I bargained for. Comically enough, the day of the wedding (and we eloped) I have to say I felt the most serene sense of peace I had ever had in my life. That is when it dawned on me. I loved this man beyond all reason and I would easily go to the ends of the Earth for him and not blink an eye. So, there it was marriage and peace all in one. Love conquered my fears. It is not a fairytale as we are still blending families but it is awesome in the grand scheme of life.
Now, I also have friends who have tried to convince me that they love the person they are with dearly and don’t want anything to happen to them. Well DUH…that basic human and friendship love….but is it enough to sustain a relationship? No. It never will be either. No matter what anyone says you cannot teach yourself to love a person you have no intimacy with.


There is one more side to the coin in this. There are people (who I have experienced first-hand) that will jump at the chance to marry and say they are in love and you just know when its right, etc. Is that true? Do we know when it is right? My answer to this is yes and no. While you know when a relationship is right, it is not an answer we know immediately. It has to be a relationship that is tried and true. I am also a strong believer that love doesn’t just appear magically but rather it develops with intimacy and grace. Now I am not saying you don’t know whether or not you love someone almost right away, but that love, that very special butterfly in your stomach feeling is not a ticket for long lasting marriage material type love. It’s a love this person but let’s see where it goes. Those that jump in the saddle and go before examining the horse and saddle are the ones who end up divorced. After all, if a person loves you…they will wait for you, encourage you and be there no matter what. Otherwise, its puppy love….which is fine and dandy but not long-term. Hopefully, we smarten up when it comes to this else we risk a society built on puppy love and divorce with misery on both sides. 

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