Thoughts, Love and Relationships

There I stand engaged and should be very happy as to how much life turned out. I mean getting married is every little girl’s dream. I remember always being told that I should find love and marry so I don’t end up alone in life. That begs the question since when is having a partner a requirement for being happy? Don’t get me wrong it is a wonderful thing to be in love and have someone at your side constantly….but what happens when that very aspect is the one thing you fear more in life than anything else? You delay, of course.

So is it love that binds us as humans or the sheer need for companionship? I don’t know about most, but I am extremely happy with my dogs. That counts as companionship. Yes, I may have a guy’s mentality in that respect but I think it helps to look at this from a variety of perspectives. Those very thoughts plagued me as I stared at my engagement ring trying to figure out what to do.
Please don’t misunderstand me when I say that. I love my now husband very much but that doesn’t mean I take everything for granted and sit there like an imbecile allowing my days to simply flow by without a second thought. I think that’s the problem with people today, especially couples. They get married and simply take one another for granted and then wonder why the relationship never worked out to begin with. Hmmm…..I’m not a genius but this isn’t rocket science either. I mean you get what you give and what you put into a relationship is what should come out. So, if both parties put in all their effort, make time and remember it is and always will be the little things that count relationships survive.

I am a perfect example of that theory. My husband and I started out as two very stubborn and unmoving parties. Each of us knowing everything in life and being set in our ways. He was tormented by not creating any conflict with anyone, no matter the cost while I was a free bird who simply enjoyed each day as its own. We have both changed drastically over this short one year and I love him more every day for the man he was and is becoming. It is like a new person, one that is learning what is actually important in life versus what is not and conflict or not he will now speak his mind. I also learned to look at some things more introspectively than others and I have come around to agreeing that planning life out for more than a day is not such a bad thing.


All in all, it goes back to the fundamentals of successful relationships. I had to stop and ask myself if being a bitch was worth losing the one man I love so dearly. The obvious answer is no. I was so afraid to lose myself in his shadow, that after years of cocooning I turned out a fresh butterfly with him. Sometimes we need to figure out what our most intimate needs are and fears and cocoon if we must in order to figure it out. What I will say is that love is as powerfully changing as it is dangerously hurtful. After all, the one thing that kept me sane and by his side was knowing deep down he loved me as much as I loved him. 

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