Envy

Envy is a strong emotion that is difficult to overcome. In the dictionary it is simply defined as discontented or resentful longing of someone else’s belongings, luck, etc. Simply put, you desire and/or want what someone else has. The “grass is greener on the other side” aspect. We have all been guilty of this at one time or another. Does that make us all bad as people? Not at all. If we envy and aspire, another words, utilize that as a motivational driving force to achieve better is one thing. However, if it leads to greed and spite it will make us much more prone to negative and manipulative acts. There is a saying, pulled from scriptures that say….”Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? (Prov 27:4). Who can stand before jealousy and envy without being completely overtaken?

This is a cruel and harsh desire, one which is very difficult to overcome. We all want to be the best and have the best in life. Sometimes, we believe that this is normal to achieve at any cost. Whether or not we intend envy or jealousy it is part of our human nature. It is a part of life. How we handle such desires is what makes us who we are. This concept and belief to me is directly related to the concept of sacrifice. If we deny ourselves on a consistent basis the envy part of ourselves takes on a much smaller part. We can certainly deal with it on this level.

I am also guilty of this envy side of me. Although I am or rather have been trained to sacrifice and do so selflessly, I do get the envy creeping in as well. What I have discovered about myself is that I do not necessarily envy people or objects. I do not. I am happy with what I have on the tangible level. I have what I need in life, to put it simply. I find myself on the envy side of a concept. I envy the true romantic relationships people seem to manage with very little effort. That seems the one part of my life that consistently is missing. It almost feels as a joke or dangling carrot in front of me. You know when we as individuals hit the level of something is bothering me. As you strive very hard to work through it, you get to a place where you are almost reconciled or at least centered. You can think rationally and make reasonable decisions…then all of a sudden it hits you. Something that someone says or does throws you right back to where you started and you second guess every thought, reasoning, belief or decision you came too. In my case, I’m battling the envy monster on a conceptual level, not towards people or things and as I centered myself and starting thinking about how to overcome and be a better person my friend decided to post a picture of her new beau dropping off flowers to her at work. While I am truly happy for the both of them and wish them the best of luck…I can’t help but feel a pang of guilt because I recognize the envy bubbling up to the top.

How do we overcome such a hard concept? A principal that is more difficult than anger or even faith itself. It is solely human and can knock one to the core. How do you separate yourself from yourself? If you can sacrifice in the true spirit of it, then you may have a glimmer of hope in at least making the battle field somewhat even. It gives you the fighting chance to struggle and be able to do so willingly and openly.