Love and Pain

Love and pain go hand in hand. That is a very powerful statement by far. Pondering its true and deep rooted meaning I still do not believe I fully grasp it for what it truly means. There are so many definitions for both words, but the phrase as a whole takes on a completely different meaning. I believe that to truly be able to comprehend the true meaning of it and experience this feeling you must be able to experience it. I’ll be perfectly honest in saying I’m not quite sure the practicing of pain to understand love makes much sense, until you truly think and feel it. At what point, however, does anyone want to feel pain just to understand love? I certainly don’t and yet I have experienced both and almost on a daily basis too.

I could simply use the example of child birth. Labor and delivery are the most physically painful experience in a woman’s life. However, as soon as it is over she feels nothing but joy and immense love for the little bundle sleeping in her arms. Immense pain brings immense love. Even so, that is much too simplistic of an explanation for this phrase. This phrase goes so much deeper than this simple explanation. It goes into our very being, deeply embedded in our souls. It is what we feel and the emotional pain and disappointment we go through in our very lives. I could venture to say that you must experience loss before you understand the concept of not taking things for granted. This is a thought so easily understood but yet so hard to put into practice. I know I have had plenty of loss and disappointment in my own life and yet in some aspects still find it very difficult to not take things for granted. I have lost love and yet the next time I meet someone I allow fear to enter in and would rather walk away than do something about it. The one benefit is although I would rather walk away, I do feel love a lot more deeply in my heart. In turn, my walking away due to the tremendous fear that builds up not only deepens my love but it also deepens the pain. This is definitely a double edged sword; nonetheless, the concept still remains simple.

These two emotions are much intertwined. It is a cruel lesson to go through. One emotion can make you walk on clouds and feel joy like you have never known, while the other makes you want to fall to your knees and cry until the pain stops. The cruelty is primarily based upon going from a deep feeling of joy and peace to completely hopeless and fearful place. One makes your heart feel three times its size while the other literally rips it out and squeezes. When you get to the point of hitting the extremes in both cases one would simply want to end it. We have all been there, the pain is so much we cannot function….a breakup, a death whatever it may be you must give yourself time to heal and grieve before you can face the world again. However, when you love you feel as though you can take the world on and save it all by yourself. It is important that we master these emotions for our own growth and understanding in life and within ourselves.

I have tried to walk through life stoically, shutting myself down completely in light of pain and lost love. It doesn’t work. At one point or another you will be challenged to face it all over again. Therefore, it is best to learn it quickly and build yourself into a stronger person than you were, as avoidance will only delay the process, and it is a process one that cannot be avoided in life. The measure of a person, as far as who they are, is based upon what they learn here. I strongly believe that. This is one continuing lesson that will either make one angry and evil hating life or can bring about a level of love and compassion that extends beyond them. Either emotion can be felt and seen on a person with little to no conversation. In reality much like the movies the grumpy or mean person is usually hiding pain that is buried very deep within them. They mask it by being mean in the hopes that if no one gets close enough they will not have to deal with life and pain. The opposite is also very evident as well and much easier to pick up on once you meet a person.

How likely is a person to submit themselves to true pain if promised a love that inspires? In today’s world, very few can actually say they would. Most people are too busy living life to bother and sit in self contemplation and identify the pain, work through it and blossom into true love and compassion. It is important to understand that this is not only in correlation to relationships, but rather to life itself. You can either love or feel compassion for someone, either way the balance of pain is needed. Once you have understood and can accept open, free willing and life altering love, when you can feel compassion and humility will the pain subside. It is at that very moment that you feel no more pain, nothing can get to you. You are inspired and your wings have been released…you can now fly to freedom from the prison we are condemned to....ourselves in fear.