Love and Hate

Love and hate. The two most powerful emotions a human being can feel. They are found on opposite extremes of the spectrum; the middle man being passion. Passion for all intensive purposes is defined as being any powerful or compelling feeling, such as love or hate. Now if we put the two together it is an explosively intense feeling; one that remains completely uncontrollable and is powerful enough to lead one to very dumb things. Regardless of which emotion grips us, it is impossible to break through and think rationally. One is forced to wait until the feeling subsides and then start the processing session with you.

Let’s take love. In and of itself it is a wonderful emotion of warmth, peace and security; the same feelings the beloved returns. It is an overwhelming emotion that grips the heart and you find yourself going through life on cloud nine. Your entire world surrounds this person. Everything you think and do is for their benefit. It is a very powerful sentiment. When you are truly in love with someone it isn’t false, it doesn’t come with expectations and there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It becomes an extension of you. Your joys should be doubled and your sorrows cut in half as you share them with the other person. It becomes two individuals who not only love, but are compelled to join their spirits and souls and live as one. You don’t live as one just because you co-habitat, cook dinners and sleep in the same bed. A monkey could do that. I have also seen situations where people who sugar coat their “in love with the thought of being in love” relationships and go about telling themselves that because this person made them dinner or cleaned their house or listens to them they are in love. Wrong. My best friend does that for me, especially when I’m having a bad day or going through something. While I love my friend very much, I am in no way, shape or form in love with them. Love for friends, yes it can be powerful and loyal as well. We all have friends and extended circles but one’s true loyalties will always be with their friend. Love towards your friend circles is and should be different; in this respect, it takes on the form of kindness and loyalty. Different from in love, but no less powerful. Then there is one’s family. If you have children, you know that they always come first. No matter what, you become selfless and sacrificial for their benefit, regardless of what it means to you. One will subject to going without for their benefit. This is, in my mind, the most powerful.

In any type of relationship, love is very passionate. It can take on many forms and be exhibited in many ways. It is uncontrollable at times and makes one do things that they wouldn’t normally do. It lights a fire of passion and rawness between two people, it bonds friendships for a lifetime, and makes you walk through fire and danger alike to protect your children. It is awe inspiring in its own right. While there are no signs saying “here I am”….one does truly know in their hearts when love is love and can be nothing else.

Hate. This is also an emotion as powerful as love. The difference is in its contrast to love. While love plants a seed that is ever growing and beautiful, hate plants a seed that is destructive and evil in one’s heart. It can grow to where it utterly destroys a person. It is as intense and passionate a feeling as anything else. It runs through your veins to where everything that comes out of your mouth is nothing but acid. Everything you say and do is for the sole purpose of hurting everyone around you. It isn’t only classified to being towards one group or another. It knows no end, no boundary and can take a heart and turn it to stone. The strongest emotional reactions are primarily due or centered to the person themselves. Yes. When you hate your life, the world and everyone you come in contact with….the root cause is almost always because you hate yourself. It seems as though everyone proclaims some form of injustice that the world has done to them and that little seed blooms into a monster that overtakes you and puts you in a such a fog, you can see and feel nothing but its burning hatred. It rises above all else and dominates one’s life. Amazing how easily one goes from hating themselves because they aren’t where they want to be in life, don’t have the right relationships, or enough money, or simply just aren’t good enough for the world to a complete and utter hatred for the world. Think about this….you have a happy solid relationship that’s been long term. All of a sudden your true love tells you they have fallen out of love and don’t want you anymore. You start the mourning process with anger. Most people take time to properly heal themselves before jumping in again. I know others who have gone from that situation to immediately getting into another committed relationship less than 3 months later. I’m no therapist, but 3 months isn’t nearly enough time to heal and get to know yourself, who you are at this stage in life. You are not the same person you were 2, 3, 4 years before the man who broke your heart. So, this person then takes on a new relationship with a poor unsuspecting fool. I look at this in 2 ways. One you either did not truly love the one you lost, therefore, you simply don’t care or you are on the revenge path. He broke my heart and so I will torment and break every other man’s in my path. That revenge turns to hatred and what was once decent intentions turn to hate and a burning desire to hurt people. The rebounder. Unfortunately in their bitterness they forget that they play with another’s emotions. Sad but it happens more often than not. Rather than take the time to heal and know the new you and better yourself, you take the road of hate and revenge. Guess where that leads? A hurtful, evil person in whose wake there are more broken hearts and hurt feelings then need be.

It is profoundly affecting how powerful these two emotions are; one for the greater good and one for the greater evil. The passion in both can inflame desires and actions so raw you sometimes feel like you are losing your mind in it. While neither happens overnight, both can and only do survive with nurturing. That nurture starts deep down within a person’s heart and it makes you who you are, while holding you back from who you can be.