Parents

I heard a story recently that simply broke my heart and so, I feel it necessary to share. It is a mixed bag of emotions and one which touches every aspect of life. Regardless where one is in life, or their religion or place in society, this story is so very poignant. I must admit that I had to do some research in this as I am not “all-knowing, never wrong” and I have found some interesting things. I learned a few things and on this journey definitely strengthened my belief in my own dogma.

The story starts a couple of years ago. A very young and impressionable youth barely hitting his teens discovered something about himself and that was the fact he is a homosexual. In today’s society one would think it isn’t a shocking factor. He was at an age where that discovery was inevitable. One must also keep in mind that we are talking about a pre-teen, someone who needs guidance and support simply because of the stage in life he is about to enter, not to mention how much more difficult it is discovering you are not like your friends, they don’t understand you and you desperately need a shoulder to cry on.

So, he makes a plea to who he thinks would and should offer the most support, his parents. One would think that your role as a parent is to be there, guide, support and raise your children in a manner that makes them solid members of society when they reach adulthood. Albeit, the road they each take in this journey of raising productive members of society does vary, however, it should never be taken as anything less than a critical job. It is the most important job you will ever have. It is the only position you will ever hold that requires complete selfless sacrifice. It also requires nurturing, love, toughness, compassion, strength, and a myriad of other emotions and personas that you become all in the time span of just a few minutes. That resume has the highest skill set you will ever find. That has always been my belief.  Parents should be heroes to their kids.

What makes this story sad is that these parents of this needy child did the complete opposite. They chastised and emotionally raped this young man. They basically chewed him up and spit him out. While I do understand that some news is harder than others to take, but this is your child. It is your flesh and blood. They may not be who you want them to be but it doesn’t change the fact it is still your flesh and blood. I am a firm believer that your children and grandchildren hold the same weight. They should carry the same importance and one should still strive to be the best you can….regardless of what they do or how they chose to live their life. You are there to guide and support, not dictate. So then how and why does a self proclaimed parent turn their backs on their child? I will never understand that. My personal belief is that once you make the choice to have unprotected sex you are responsible. Regardless of what you thought or assumed. It makes no difference because last time I checked it takes two to make a baby, therefore, equal accountability falls to both.

In this case, the situation was so bad the teen was chased out of the house to find his way. This is a child, not a grown adult. Thank goodness another family member took pity on him and took him in. He now gets to live a normal life, barring normal teenager drama. Nonetheless, someone else had to pick up the responsibility of parenting a child that isn’t theirs. Lucky for him, there are good and sane people left in the world. The reasoning for all this was religion. Their religion (and I’m not going to say what denomination it is) apparently does not condone this type of behavior. Really? So rather than do what most sane and true spiritual people do and that is to open their hearts and pray for guidance, they choose religion over blood. Not that I condone turning your back on your church and/or beliefs but there is a limit. The Bible teaches and is open. If your heart and spirit truly belong to God (or whatever you believe in) then you pray, forgive and ask for guidance. The sharp teeth, nails, horns and the tail do not come out. It is not your place to judge, parent or not.

My own personal opinion is that they are worse than the slimiest snake that crawls the Earth. These types of people are sperm donors to a vessel that carries an innocent child for nine months and then they think their responsibility has ended. What never ceases to amaze me is that some people believe that once a child turns 18, their job is done. Surprise…it never ends. You are a parent until death. The only thing that changes is your job function. You are no longer the punisher, the tough love advocate, etc….you do turn into a guide, someone your child can trust fully and come to you for advice without fear of repercussion or abandonment.

I don’t know if I should feel disgusted or sorrowful at this situation. I am very glad that it turned out ok for the child involved. The parents, I know nothing of at this point. But the fact still remains that they are missing all of their children because of their harsh and disgusting behavior. Although, I am no longer surprised by some people’s actions in the general scheme of things…a parent has no excuses. Kids do not come with a how-to guide. It is never easy and sometimes decisions can be so very hard. But you treat it with love, compassion and guidance; while doing the absolute best thing you can do. No one is perfect or asking for perfection but there is a major difference between making mistakes as parents to being a complete slim ball. Thank God, there are still angels in this world who have love and compassion to pick up where others failed.